


The Avengers Bunch

by truleedevastating



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Age changing machine that Tony invented by accident, And bucky giving a show, Avengers Tower, Call of Duty - Freeform, Christmas, Christmas with the Avengers, Gaming, Its Peters birthday, Prank Wars, Presents, Stark Tower, Thor offers Asgardian Liquor to everyone lmao, Tony gets kinda emotional, a war breaks out, and Tony doesnt realise until later, and they kinda get drunk so, between everyone oh no!!!, bucky pranks the wrong guy, but over what?, expect Clint singing to Queen, last minute birthday presents lmfaooo, natasha is too serious, shit happens, so everyone has to think of, the daily lives of the Avengers, things get out of hand, tony is a shithead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-02-17 09:58:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13074477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truleedevastating/pseuds/truleedevastating
Summary: What comes from Prank Wars, to battles on Call of Duty- shit happens when it comes to Earth's mightiest hero's.





	1. Deck The...Enemies?

"Tony Stark in reindeer slippers. I would've never thought." Clint laughs watching Tony coming into the living room where everyone has gathered wearing reindeer slippers, an oversized sweater with green and red Captain America shields patterned all around it and grey sweatpants. He yawns and stretches, then slumps down onto the sofa.

"You can never let yourself go at least a little bit can you Barton?" Tony remarks.

"With you guys? Hell no." Clint scoffs with his arms folded.

Christmas. Everyone is in their usual cheery mood as Steve moves around the enormous red-and-gold decorated Christmas tree planted in the middle of the living room and pulls presents out from underneath. While some got a few presents for a couple of people, Tony insisted he buys most, so a vast majority of them he already knows. He wouldn't expect a present either. Who the hell can even think of what to get for a billionaire who can afford anything he wants?

"Tony. Here." Steve approaches him as he slowly falls back to sleep and hands him a small box wrapped with a ribbon.

"Wow. I actually got something? Who's it from?" Tony turns the small tag on it.

 **To:** _Tony Stark._

 **From:** _A_

He smiles at the small tag. Of course it's from them. He slowly pulls the ribbon and after a small glance looking up, he realises everyone has stopped opening their presents and they're now watching him, excited.

"I swear to god if it's a watch." He jokes as he lifts the lid up. Underneath, is a small photo framed to a keychain. Of all of them, smiling and looking at the camera. It was after another battle in the middle of the city and was the first time  _everyone_ grouped together and fought. Natasha, Clint, Vision, Wanda, Steve, Bucky, Sam, Tony in the centre, Peter, Rhodes, Scott, Thor, Banner, T'Challa and Fury. It was a difficult fight, but they became unstoppable after Peter noticed a flaw in the enemies way of combat. They're all wounded but are standing up. Bruises and dirt and small drops of their own blood smurred on their worn out clothes.

Tony smiles as he stares deep into the picture. "Wow." He breathes out. Only a while ago he figured himself a lone wolf and a guy who'd just rock with anything. But now he was with a team. A power team of people he will annoy, but still love in the end.

"You like it?" Nat asks sitting on the ground with her presents piled on her lap. Tony is at lost for words and lifts his head up. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out.

"I...Guys..." He looks back down on it. Definitely a present he wouldn't be able to afford. Small tears well up in his eyes the longer he observes it and finally looks away, taking a deep breath then sniffling.

"It's amazing. Thank you." Immediately he asks for his keys and when they're delivered to him he clips the keychain onto it, admiring the photo that hangs between his (several) car keys.

"Alright...now for the others." Steve brings his hands together and pulls more out. Natasha rips her open in one go and pulls a thin black lace lingerie set out from the off-cream coloured box. She scoffs and shakes her head. "Assholes."

"Nat, personally, I think it'd look great." Tony comments and everyone laughs. Banner opens his next.

"A Hulk figure." He smiles as he pulls out a smaller version of himself from its plastic packaging. "Thank you, Tony."

"Wow, Tony. You're such a comedian." Clint pulls out a small pink bow & and arrow set. The more he looks around it, the more flowers and cartoon characters he can see. He gives it a go, pulling the arrow back and launching it into the tree. It wobbles in his grip and swings uncontrollably and everyone laughs again watching him sigh.

"Thought you needed an upgrade." Tony grins. Next, is Thor. Somehow the entire team now trust Loki so here he is, once the guy trying to take over the world, sitting beside his brother with his arms folded as a gift is handed to him. "Thanks."

"What..." Peter laughs watching the both of them slowly pull out matching christmas sweaters with Tony's face knitted at the front. Bucky clears his throat as Thor loses his smile seeing the big printed face. "I appreciate the gift but-"

"It's overwhelming. I know. But hey, I've got plenty more where those came from. You children all have one as well." Tony cuts Thor off. Loki clicks his tongue and turns away from the sweater, not baring to look at it any longer than he has.

"Oh...wow..." Wanda awkwardly smiles as she holds her up, turning it around a couple times. She notices a difference in hers and Natasha's, compared to Thor's and Loki's. "Why do ours...show cleavage?" Wanda asks.

Steve sighs at Tony who's wearing an enormous grin on his face and shakes his head. "Next few presents. Vision, this one's for you. Buck, Sam." He hands out more and they start opening them. Bucky pulls out a sweater, but his one has an entire sleeve missing for his metal arm. He looks down and shakes his head with a smile on his face.

"Thanks, Tony." He mumbles.

"Wow. Seriously, Stark?" Sam laughs out. His sweater is entirely different from everyone else's. His has Tony posing and blowing a kiss wearing Falcon's wings. Sam throws his head back laughing.

"Like it? Cost me extra." Tony lifts an eyebrow at the sweater.

"I have to say, this is extraordinary." Vision pulls out pants. Sweatpants. Wool, red and gold with Iron Man faces all over the waistline then patterned in rows with the **A**  symbol. After everyone opens their gifts and ripped paper is scattered over the floors, they chip in some of their most memorable moments since becoming a team. Light conversations go on for hours, talking about the future then laughing at the past. Tony smiles watching them all throw their heads back and laugh with every joke Sam makes.

"A sight you'll never get used to, huh?" Tony turns around from spreading out on the sofa and see's Fury, smiling with his hands behind him.

"Yeah well, although it's not what I bargained for, I'm satisfied. Never thought I'd say that before." Tony chuckles sipping his morning wine. He stands up and walks over beside Fury as they watch the team happily chatting between each other.

"I just gathered word. Seems not every holiday can stay happy forever. You've got an ex-pastor and now inventor gone haywire coming your way. In the middle of the city. You have at least an hour to get them ready." Fury informs as he backs away out of the living room, into the elevator and disappearing. Tony sighs, drops his head then looks back up at everyone and claps his hands to grab their attention.

They turn their gazes to him. "Looks like we have to work even on holidays, kids. Another enemy, centre of town. Cap, your call." He hands it over to Steve with a nod. Steve stands up after being tackled into the ground by Bucky for teasing him. "Alright then. Avengers. Suit up."

 

\---

 

By the time they reach the centre of the city several buildings have been burned to the ground and citizens have evacuated. The Avengers, spread out after suiting up and preparing themselves silently wait, on standby awaiting Captain's call.

Tony flies up, the spectacles of his suit scanning the entire city. "Fury mentioned an ex-pastor and now an inventor. Doesn't sound too good." He says through the intercom. Just as Steve goes to talk, a loud explosion goes off and the ground shakes. The team still stays hidden and awaits.

Finally, the enemy emerges from behind skyscrapers. A man dressed in a full skin-tight red suit starts leaping around, setting off explosions with bombs planted around the place. He hisses loudly everytime the bombs behind him go off and he jumps somewhere new. The team watches him, dumbfounded. "This...is it?" Clint breathes out as his shoulder sag.

"Yeah. Definitely not too good." Tony remarks and prepares his guns around the arms of his suit.

"$10 I can take him out. One blow." Sam throws in a bet and everyone groans through the intercom once hearing Tony laugh. "$100 for me."

"$25." Natasha adds in, cracking her knuckles.

"$30." Bucky adds as well as he cocks his gun.

"I'll throw in a couple bucks." Rhodey laughs, heading straight towards the enemy and shooting him off the building. "Gotta be specific, Rhodes." Tony goes after him as well, sending small shots to take him off balance.

"Fine." He lands onto the broken roads, already puffed out after being caught in the destruction of Tony's explosions. "20." He sighs.

Bucky starts shooting at the enemy but they quickly jump away, taking cover inside a building. "Heads up." Clint says through the intercom. Everyone turns around and from above on another brick building he sends an arrow straight through a glass window. Tony scoffs seeing no impact on it. "Nice one Cli-"

The whole entire side explodes, sending small glass shards and rock at everyone else. "Yeah, nice one alright." Clint snickers at Tony as he shoots another arrow to the top of the building. Soon enough the enemy comes jumping out of the explosion, suit still in tact as he pulls out a small remote and sets off more bombs down along the road the team are standing at.

"You just gonna stand there all day?" Sam quickly flies in, snatching the remote off out of the enemies hand. He drops Natasha on the way and she lands on him, tackling the man down. They wrestle and punch each other until Nat's caught up in an explosion from the building nearby and is shoved away. Everyone else also falls down and the enemy slides away then starts runing off. "Sorry, accidentally pressed a button." Sam apologises as they all groan.

"Peter, get a hold of him." Tony orders Peter.

"Sure thing Mr Stark." Before they know it Peter comes swinging in, suited up as he travels further down the outside of the buildings with his webs as his support. The team watches him approaching the enemy who's trying to run for his life down the road.

"We're not gonna do anything?" Wanda asks, still standing beside Vision.

"Nah. Kid's got him." Steve smiles watching Spiderman swing straight towards the enemy. He goes to kick him in the stomach but misses after his web is pulled short and he shoots back up from stooping to low. Everyone sighs watching him clumsily swing around with his web being tangled and the enemy laughs, still running.

"Yeah. Maybe not." Tony shrugs.

"Where's Banner?" Nat asks looking around, seeing no Bruce amidst them. Moments later they hear the usual growling and grumbling coming from the end of the road where the enemy is. The Hulk comes smashing into the side of him, sending his body straight through a building so quickly it breaks down. He pulls the enemy by the legs and sends him flying through the sky then dropping back onto the road at Cap's feet.

"There he is." Tony lifts his eyebrows. Him and Rhodey lift the front of their helmets off then kneel down at the enemies feet, pulling his mask off. He groans as blood decorates his dirty face.

"You do know you ruined Christmas, right?" Tony says.

"Fuck off." He breathes out, coughing up blood then dropping his head. He stays spread out onto the road, body weak and basically broken. Hulk comes jumping back towards Nat and grins seeing her nod her head in praise.

"Russian accent. Nat, Buck, either one- speak to him will you?" Tony immediately gets back up and turns towards then both. They both shrug and approach the enemy together. "Why would you get them both to interrogate him? You know they're gonna kill him, right?" Wanda mumbles.

"Nah. They wouldn't do that. Right?" Standing behind them he tries to get their attention. Bucky pulls the man by the collar of his suit and bends down so they're face to face. He speaks brief Russian, intentionally spitting in his face. The man goes to punch Bucky but before even the Winter Soldier can block him, Nat grabs his wrist and shoves it back, putting a foot on his chest and lowering him down onto the ground again. She glares at him, and he arches an eyebrow at her.

"Ever date before, no?" He grins showing his disgusting yellow teeth. Nat, putting on her usual sexy act bend down with her foot still on him, lips close together as she stares through his eyes. "Many times." She whispers then flings her foot straight up his jaw, knocking him unconscious.

"That's one way to do it. Well kids, let's get back to celebrating Christmas then." Tony wraps everything up. The entire team are soon notifying military that they've cleared the city and are returning back to the Tower. Vision and Wanda walk behind everyone else as they walk back, hand in hand. Bucky throws the enemy over his shoulder and walks beside Sam and Steve who are quietly taking their time. Tony and Rhodey talk their way back. Nat teaches a curious Bruce the basics of speaking Russian and Clint finally comes down from the top of the building coming beside Bucky.

"Mr Stark...I am so sorry about that." Peter slides down the side of a building and lands beside Tony, constantly apologising. Tony laughs and grips his shoulder, lightly shaking him. "It's fine kid. No pressure. Now you've got something to work on when we get back to the Tower. Expanding the web fluid." He smiles and Peter nods.

"Of course."

They all finally get back to the front of the Tower where everyone is applauding and cheering for them. Cameras flash and reporters point their microphones to whoever is near them, asking questions.

"We won't be asking any questions today  _but_ , I want to wish everyone a safe and happy Merry Christmas." Tony takes over the conversation paparazzi were trying to start up with one sentence and everyone else quickly rushes inside after that, just wanting to relax. They get back up and see Thor and Loki sitting quietly at the kitchen countertop's, drinking hot chocolate.

"Wow." Sam mockingly laughs watching them calm and colleced while he's scratched up and tired after fighting. "You guys didn't even think to help?" He asks as he pulls a bottled water out of the fridge behind Thor.

"Your problems are not ours. Loki and I simply kept to ourselves. If it were Asgard I would be prepared for battle but here, unless it involves the infinity stones, we pay no atention nor care to it. I did see the fight from here though. Very destructive. Is that him that The Winter Soldier is carrying?" Thor sips on his hot choclate and points his head at Bucky and the man he's holding. 

"Yeah. He's going to be interrogated properly at the stations once conscious." Steve quickly comes out of the bathroom back into his sweatpants and the Christmas sweater Tony had gotten him, falling onto the sofa where his presents are piled. One by one everyone decides to get dressed into their 'Tony Sweaters' in just the bathroom, getting out of their suits and changing back to casual wear. Clint is the last to get dressed and they all sit back where they were before, trying out a few of their presents.

Tony jingles his keys around, admiring the photo keychain attached to it. He smiles everytime he looks over it and turns on the TV, putting on Netflix and everyone falls into a debate over what to watch first. "White Chicks!" Natasha laughs out seeing it appear on the large screen. "Die Hard!" Sam shouts.

"Harry Potter? What's that?" Steve turns his head to everyone and Tony scoff. "We're doing a Harry Potter marathon, case closed." He laughs and starts the first one of the entire series. So everyone sits back, eating and drinking and just watching the movie.

 

Merry Christmas!


	2. A New Year

"What should we do for New Years?" Natasha asks everyone coming in from the kitchen with a vine of grapes in her hand. They shrug and turn up the volume of the TV, watching E! News.

"Well of course, Stark Industries will be throwing a major party. Champagne, countdown, celebration for the New Years- all that stuff. Are you all interested?" Tony asks them sitting on his own recliner with his legs up.

Nat slumps onto the sofa beside Sam. "Maybe. I mean I'll be sleeping by 10. Don't know if I'm up for spending the night with rich people I don't even know." Sam murmurs.

Everyone else nods in agreement. "So then what are we going to do? Should we just stay here? Or maybe we should all go out?" Steve sits up on the couch.

It's been boring since after Christmas. Not much has happened. No enemies since that raging asshole that was bombing the whole city. Even Bucky hasn't gone on any individual missions since. Everyone has been at the Tower, watching TV, eating, ordering in, talking like they're one weird and crazy family. Things have been so boring that even Tony, the guy who runs the whole of Stark Industries. The guy who makes headlines all over the News. The guy who can buy the world if he wanted to. Even he has been spending his excessive hours (yes. Hours) in the living room, on his new favourite seat, watching movies until 2am. Clint has considered several times visiting the farm again, but things here are holding him back. Nat is limited to where she can go, Steve has decided on just staying at the Tower with Sam and Buck, Bruce hasn't changed being the same over-working mad scientist and Peter...Peter is probably the most productive one out of the group at the moment.

Peter continues to patrol around, suited in whatever Stark gifted him with, does extra classes even though school finished a while ago, talks to Ned and MJ all the time and updates them on whatever. He's feeling more free especially since the New Years nearing means more night shifts from Aunt May.

"Maybe we should go somewhere?" Peter chips in. Sam arches an eyebrow, slightly curious.

"Like where?" Tony asks.

"I don't know...just somewhere? A place where we can all adjust to and relax I guess?"

"Like BoraBora?"

"Okay, Tony, that's tempting and all but not everyone has the type of money to relax in BoraBora. You know how much flights cost? And then we gotta get a hotel? Hah, I'd be in debt even in my afterlife." Clint scoffs at Tony sitting up from laying down. Nat hums and nods her heads. "He's got a point. Maybe somewhere...cheaper?"

"Alright then let's do this. I'll pay. Yeah, for all of us. Flights to BoraBora for New Years, then those cabins that branch out onto the water. Yes. Yes, now that I think about it that sounds perfect. You're a genius Peter." Tony soon jumps up off his recliner and starts to pace back and forth sliding his finger down his beard. He presses into the earpiece and starts talking.

"Hey, Happy. Order in to bring my private jet around, yes the blue and white striped one. Also, I want you to book a few of those cabins in BoraBora, the ones over the water, yeah? Get a couple, there's 12 of us coming." Ordering around as usual makes everyone come off their seats. Tony turns around to them, smug grin on that face of his.

"Pack your bags kids, we're going to BoraBora."

 After moments of debating with themselves, everyone agreed to it and started running to their own rooms around the Tower. They packed an entire bag each, filled with clothes, books, (a couple of extra weapons. Maybe problems have shifted over to BoraBora?), especially Bucky- he snuck an entire set and belt of throwing knives and a pistol between the same broody clothes of his.

Natasha is the first with her large, black Adidas bag hanging over her shoulder, waiting in the centre of the living room texting Bruce. Steve comes next also with his bag over his shoulder and dressed absolutely different in Hawaiian-inspired floral shorts, brown sandals, a half buttoned shirt and shades resting on his head.

"Woah, hey frat-boy." Sam chuckles walking behind Steve in his squeaky jandals. Steve shakes his head laughing himself and drops his bag to grab a drink from the coffee table.

"You all look...enthusiastic." Wanda smiles, coming out with her full backpack and normal, everyday clothes.

"When are we leaving again?" Bucky asks and drops his bag near Steve's legs.

"Bucky, can't you dress out of your black clothes for once? Makes me all depressed just looking at you." Sam sighs staring at Bucky's same old clothes.

"I never asked for criticism. I asked for the schedule." He turns to Sam, slowly pulling his black shades over his eyes.

The elevator then dings, the doors open and Tony comes walking in, the most excited of all- judging by his colourful clothes. "We leave shortly. Where's the rest?" He looks around the living room.

"Still getting ready." Nat murmurs and tucks her phone into her pocket just as Bruce comes rushing out from his room still straightening the collar of his denim button-up. "Sorry I'm late..." He breathes out trying to catch his breath.

"It's fine."

Once the rest come out, the last being Clint, they head off first inside their own separate cars and driving to the airport.

 

\----

 

The entire flight everyone was excited in their own way. While Thor had his own concerns, several times Tony answered them in the most wittiest way possible. He also kept in contact with T'Challa, and so the Black Panther was invited into the trip. They spend their time laughing and drinking glasses of champagne, enjoying whatever the hell Stark's air hosts offered them.

By the time they arrive it's sunny, and the wind is cool. They all slowly walk down the small metal stairs connected to the jet, letting out long admirable coos. A man comes around to them once they reach inside the airport and they're driven inside a limousine all the way to their motel, already able to see their luxurious cabins standing perfectly in the water.

Tony leads the group as they look around the place, eyes exploring the clear blue sky and shimmering ocean before them. As they reach the front of the hotel a short, stocky woman dressed in a colourful black and yellow patterned dress cuts in front of them with a smile on her face.

"Hello, and welcome to BoraBora! My name is Klaudia and I will be assisting you all today to your cabins. Please, come this way and I will give you a short tour around our hotel. Or do you wish to proceed straight to your cabins?" Klaudia's undeniably adorable twangy accent makes Steve smile.

"We'll proceed straight to our cabins." Tony insists and Klaudia bows, then lifts an arm to her side. "Please follow me." She escorts the team to their cabins, everyone separated into small groups of two.

As pleasurable as it may be just having the usual group of two, Tony wanted everyone to know each other properly. So he decided on the room arrangements.

He walks over to the reception desk and fills out the booking forms, putting the two of the most random names in each cabin. Once finished he hands the paper to everyone behind him so they can look at who they're with. No one complains, but are surprised.

**Tony Stark - Sam Wilson**

**Clint Barton - T'Challa Udaku**

**Jarvis Stark - Thor Odinson** (Because at this point Tony has had enough of trying to explain as to why there's someone called 'Vision'.)

**Bruce Banner - James Barnes**

**Steve Rogers - Peter Parker**

**Wanda Maximoff - Natalie Romanoff** (Tony insisted that the two women stay together and try to learn something new about each other, perhaps.)

Everyone shrugs and go walking off to the cabin numbers beside their names. Once settling in, they're all awkwardly sitting in silence, bags on their beds.

-

"So...kid, feel good to be out of the same old apartment for once?" Steve asks Peter as he starts unloading his bag of a few books and other necessary items.

"Yeah...haven't felt this free since, well, forever. What about you? You mustn't go around to places like this much, huh?" Peter nervously chuckles also unloading his bag. Steve nods smiling.

"Yeah...I never get the time to venture out since I have to constantly report to new missions. Probably sounds like a downside for being an Avenger, but there are cons with every pro's. Can't miss a beat when you're Earth's mightiest hero's." Peter smiles with Cap, admiring his bulging muscles in his arms and even those god forsaken watermelon-breaking thighs. He sighs then looks down at his body, realising just how small he is compared to everyone else.

-

"T'Challa, right?"

"Yes. And you must be Mr Barton. Pleasure to meet you. While we haven't spoken much since the incident involving the Winter Soldier, your skills with archery are very impressive." T'Challa shakes Clint's hand then compliments the archer, leaving him dazed.

"Wow buddy. Thanks. You've got some pretty mean uh, _claws_? Sharp and everything. Hey, you ever drunk from a coconut while in water? Same here man, so I'm heading straight to the little bar then rushing out into the ocean." Clint's already buzzing with excitement pulling his swim trunks out and kicking off his pants.

-

"Where are you going first?" Wanda asks as she slowly unzips her jeans, revealing her red bikini. "To the ocean. Might as well hit a few waves. What about you?" Natasha also starts to take off her clothes wearing her simple bikini and bra set.

"Swimming." She smiles, rubbing sunscreen all over her arms then generously throwing it over to Natasha's bed.

"With Vision?" Nat grins and Wands bashfully nods before sliding off her shirt and jacket then throwing on a summer hat and aviators.

-

"So...you  _can_ lift her up, but you choose not to?"

"Yes. Is there a problem with my kindness to not overtake one's only power?"

"No, of course not. It's only that your kindness has a terrifying echo of cynicism. Though I'm not concerned, you do peak my curiosity." Thor huffs a smile as he swings Mjolnir in his hand while Vision lays out a set of clothes for outside.

Clint opens the door to their cabins and comes through wearing his shades, topless and only swim trunks on. "Can the both of you just hurry up? Thor, you swimming man?" He throws the sunscreen over to him.

"Ah...no. I will bathe in only the sunlight. Though the ocean is very tempting to relax in." Thor looks out the window above his bed, staring out onto the shining sun glazing the clear blue water. He smiles and when he turns around, Clint and Vision are already gone.

-

"So...Mr Barnes...I'm Dr-"

"Dr Banner. I know. Stevie told me about you. Just call me Bucky, I'm cool with that." Bucky smiles at a nervous and fidgety Bruce sitting with his legs shut close on his bed, hair hanging slightly over his glasses.

"Right, right." Bruce glances up for a second, seeing the belt of knives and pistol thrown out of Bucky's bag and lnto his bedsheets. He gulps then looks back down.

"So what are you doing first?" Bucky asks.

"I might just stay inside. I'm not much of a swimmer or anything. What about you?"

"I heard there's a small gym around here, so I'm gonna go searching for it. So uh, I'll see you around I guess." Bucky throws a towel over his shoulder, stripping shirtless to reveal the scars painted all around his shoulder connecting the metal arm. He changes into black sweatpants before walking out of the cabin with an awkward smile, leaving Bruce alone.

"Alright. Uh..." He looks around the room then feels his phone vibrate in the pocket of his pants.

**From: Natasha**

2:33

_**You swimming big guy?** _

**-**

**Sent: Bruce**

2:36

_**I can't really swim...I might. Are you?** _

_**-** _

**From: Natasha**

2:38

**_Yeah, with Wanda. Come around if you can._ **

****

Bruce contains the thought of Nat in a tight bathing suit and clears his throat, tucking his phone into his pocket and quickly pulling out his own swim trunks and towel.

-

"Don't touch my stuff."

"I'm not even near you." Sam snaps pulling his shirt off and approaching Tony, eyes dark. Tony backs into the edge of his bed and holds his breathe. Sam puts an arm up over Stark's shoulder and leans into him.

"Look, you're attractive and all but I'm not interested in you that wa-"

Suddenly Sam pulls away holding a small bottle of sunscreen that was sitting on the shelf above Tony's bed. "Sunscreen." He mumbles then walks back to his own bed. The old man breathes out a weak laugh and shakes his head.

"You going swimming with everyone else?" Sam asks as he starting rubbing sunscreen all over his body then shoving a cap on.

"I'm a lone wolf. I don't exactly  _join_ everyone." Tony starts to pull out his own swim trunks and gold-rimmed aviators packed delicately in the side pocket of his black suitcase.

"That didn't exactly my question but okay." Sam shrugs then walks out of the cabin, jumping into the water immediately.

-

After everyone got ready, they all went off to do their own thing whether it was swimming, drinking Martini's at the shore or working out. Nat and Wanda quietly rest in enormous blow-up tubes floating above the water, shades on and bodies content. Every now and then Clint and Sam push them further out into the ocean when Nat pulls Clint's hair and shoves him away. Thor admires the tropical view of tall tree's surrounding the small bars and restaurants, randomly petting dogs and smiling at strangers as he wanders around. Tony also watches from his cabin, keeping in contact with Happy back at the Tower and keeping updated every few minutes, not bothering to try and enjoy himself until Pepper demands he goes outside- so he does.

Steve relaxes, spread out on a sofa just outside his and Peter's cabin, reading a book on Bill Gates. He's impressed by the man, and is still shocked by the type of technology that surrounds the world today.

"H-Hi...Mr Rogers..." Peter awkwardly comes out as well, holding a towel and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hey, kid. Are you going swimming with Nat and that?" He perks his head up smiling at the teenager, and he nods back in response. "Yeah...yeah, I was gonna do a quick dive then go around."

Steve lifts his arm in offer, "Go ahead." He smiles. Peter puts his towel onto one of the tables and jumps up and down on the spot a couple of times, preparing himself. He stays at the doorframe and stretches, then with one big breath, he starts sprinting out across the deck and leaps up front-flipping then diving straight down into the water. Moments later he rises back up heavily breathing and flipping his wet hair back.

"Mr Rogers! Did you see that! I did it!" He jumps in the water, splashing around. Steve laughs and gives him a thumbs up before resuming back to his book.

Peter swims around to Natasha and Wanda, his nerves getting the best of him seeing them both baring their half-naked bodies upwards.

"Hi...Widow, Scarlet." They turn their heads to the boy grimacing and angry, until they realise it's just Peter and they smile. "Hey Peter. Are you enjoying yourself so far?" Wanda asks him.

"Yeah...I just did this awesome front flip into the water." Wanda and Nat smile at him, allowing Peter to move to closer to them unlike the rest of the menacing men.

Sam peaks over one of the railing, looking onto the two women and teenager. "Out of the way kid. Aren't old enough for them just yet." He warns Peter, making him back away from the tubes and to the shallow part of the water again, then walking off to the sand.

"Are you thirsty?" Wanda asks and Nat nods her head, humming a small 'mm'. Moments later they push each other off their tubes and swim back to shore where the men are all sitting down on underneath a small shelter reserved exactly for the team. Sam, Peter, Tony and Bruce all watch them walk up from the ocean, water dropping down their bare skin and wet hair circling their curves, jaws tightened and stomachs twisted.

Sam nudges Bruce in the side with a grin. "How did you bag a woman like her?" He huffs rhetorically. Bucky finally comes back from the gym, face red and body reeking of heavy sweat. "You decide to work out on a hot day? What you don't have anything better to do?" Tony snickers. He reaches out for his bottle of water on the table beside his seat when Bucky grabs it before him, pulls the lid off and pours it on top of his head, soaking himself in the coolness.

Tony stares, annoyed and Bucky rolls his eyes. "I'm sorry you were saying?"

"You guys argue on a hot day? What you have nothing better to do?" Steve says coming towards the undercover area, from the walkway above the ocean with a smile on his face, looking over at Bucky and Stark.

"I'm anything but arguing." Tony retaliates folding his arms.

"So, an asshole?" Bucky murmurs and Steve puts his hand to silence the both of them.

"Anyways, what do we have planned for the night? Anything special? I mean, we are starting a New Year."

"I'm drinking." Clint chuckles twisting the lid off his silver flask and putting it directly to his mouth. Everyone nods and Wanda and Nat finally come up to them, wrapping thin colourful sarongs with their identity colours around their waists then flicking their drenched hair behind them. "Hi boys. Someone mentioned drinking, so I'm up for that." Natasha smirks and Bruce is still staring at her, teeth gritting as her every movement only makes him more mesmerized.

"Yeah we might go to a nice restaurant. There's meant to be a French one just around here somewhere." Tony pulls a small brochure off from the glass table and flips through it to look al over the different places to go.

"Do we really want to go have a fancy night together? Aren't we all tired from suddenly travelling all the way from the US to BoraBora?" Sam complains leaning his head back to rest. Again, every nods quietly trying to brainstorm ideas.

"Last time I checked wasn't I the one that brought you all here?" Tony turns to them, frowning. "But I mean, do we want to just have a couple drinks, celebrate a bit or actually go around and drink from fancy wine glasses? This all depends on us and whether or not we're game for that. I'm tired already and can see myself just drinking in the water on the deck." Clint coughs out after chugging down whatever he stored in his flask, wiping his mouth.

"Okay so, are we not going to properly go out tonight and just sit around the place?"

"Yeah."

"No. No, we are not doing that." Tony shakes his head standing up from his seat. "We're going to do something else rather than just sitting around, okay?"

-

**11:49pm**

"Seriously?"

"Skip Nat's turn, last card!" Clint slams his card down on the pile cheering. Nat grumbles and glances over to Bucky who sets down a Jack, reversing the cycle and turning it to her again. Clint instantly stops celebrating with his glass of whiskey and glares at Bucky.

Then Nat comes in, sliding three 5's over the pile. "Pick up 15." She smirks. Everyone else laughs at Clint as his shoulders slump down and he starts pulling out 15 cards from the new deck.

"This was your idea of 'celebrating'?" Tony groans and throws himself back onto his chair.

"This game confuses me. Why do I have a little woman on one of my cards?" Thor brings his hand of cards close to his face, studying them. "Are these forbidden symbols?" He rambles.

"I apologise Mr Barnes, but do, 'pick up 10'." Vision slides down one of his 5's, gazing at Bucky who throws a fit and just grabs the entire deck of cards. "This game sucks shit." He whines and Sam laughs.

"Trust me, the game would be worse if it were Vision and Stark. They think there's alternate ways to avoid the pickups if they don't have the blocks." He sips from his glass of whiskey, watching every card that's dropped then glancing back down at his own sort. Steve drops a 5 on Sam, but lucky for him he has another 5 and looks over to Wanda.

"Pick up 10 girly." He winks and she smirks, putting another 5 down.

"How many fucking 5's do you guys have?" Bucky mumbles.

The dropping goes around for a while. Starting Steve, then Sam, then Wanda, T'Challa, Bruce, Vision and stops at Bucky- again. He looks down at his whole heap of cards and there's not even one carry on or block. He grumbles and drops his card. He stands up from the sofa, balling his fast. His metal hand grabs the edge of the table, flips the entire piece of furniture up and sends it through one of the walls, splashing into the ocean.

"What the fuck was that for?" Clint spits.

First Sam starts to laugh, then everyone else as they shake their heads and continue sipping on their alcohol. "Hey guys come on, let's go outside. It's almost midnight." This time the teams decides to listen to Tony, exiting the big room they rented out just to play cards together and stay grouped together still holding their glasses and looking up to the sky.

"It's 11:54." Steve smiles at them all standing outside the room.

Sam sighs and pushes himself out to the front of the group rubbing the back of his neck "Honestly, we've had some shit times together but I guess I will say you guys are pretty cool."

"Same here." Natasha mumbles with her arms folded and body leaning onto Bruce's.

"I could be with my wife and kids right now but she insisted I came here with you guys instead. Thanks." Clint chips in. "Is that a compliment or?-"

"I dunno. Next." Clint waves a hand to move on, bashfully hiding the red surrounding his cheek. "You humans still confuse me. Though I am treated as an equal here which I believe is inappropriate since I am the Son of Odin, you are all very treasured to me. Just not as much as Mjolnir." Thor lifts his cup up, the same dopey smile one his face.

Steve comes beside Sam in front of the team. "As Captain you guys have made me proud. We've had our ups and downs but in the end we've solved every situation and are all still here together. As the Avengers." Everyone lifts their glass up to his small speech and he walks back patting Bucky on the shoulder to go next. They bicker between each other until Bucky finally comes up with his head tilted down to not look at anyone.

"You all tried to kill me at one point but you guys aren't anymore so...thanks." He sinks back beside Steve and Bruce goes next. He clears his throat.

"Uh well, I am glad to have helped you all. In my mind things were a lot clearer but uh, I think this is good as well. Besides, I have the same old big guy inside me." He awkwardly chuckles to himself and everyone arches and eyebrow at him, and it takes a moment for Bruce to realise what he just said.

"That uh, came out wrong." He walks back to hold Natasha by the waist. Tony turns to Panther standing behind everyone else as he twirls the drink around in his cup. "You going up, T'Challa?" He asks and the man shakes his head, a smile broadening across his face.

"Wanda? Vision?" They shake their heads as well.

"Well uh, everyone. Three minutes left. I just wanted to thank you all, and exactly what Steve said, we are the Avengers, which means our own personal problems have blinded us before and got in the way of our original goals. We've fought each other, I know. Clint, Wanda- you two work better than I thought especially when you brought cars onto me. Good move. Also, Thor, I will say now that I have no intentions to give up on lifting Mjolnir, only because I know it's physics behind what lifts that up." Tony, as always, makes the team smile and quietly laugh between each other.

Stark smiles himself and glances over at the last one to speak. "Kid." He calls out. Peter glances up and his face brightens seeing Tony gesture a hand towards him. "It's okay, we didn't forget about you Peter. Come on, say your words."

Peter immediately runs up buzzing with excitement. "Well uh, I'm really glad you guys like me. I was um, pretty nervous first meeting you guys and that but as it turns out we all get along. A-At least I hope so. Thank you Mr Stark for mentoring me and teaching me a lot more than what I asked for. And also to the Avengers." He dips his head before walking back to his spot.

"Alright, we're taking a photo whether you all like it or not. So let me grab the camera and the tripod from my bag and you guys stay here." Tony rushes inside the room pulling his equipment out and sets it all up in front of everyone standing outside the cabin. They check their hair and straighten their clothes, all positioning themselves and squeezing tight together once Tony puts a timer on just as the countdown starts.

"Don't any of you mess this up." Stark orders them setting up the camera. He starts the 20 second timer and runs back in front of everyone, pulling Peter beside him and handing the boy his full glass of Vodka.

"Here kid, as a celebration." He smiles. Peter gasps and admires the alcohol.

"10 seconds." Natasha reminds and Peter starts to panic, not knowing whether to drink it now or later. "Just drink it!" Sam shouts, pushing the cup all the way to Peter's mouth making him chug it down in one go. Peter swallows, coughing then just as the camera light flashes, a whole wave of vomit comes spilling out of his mouth and rains over Bruce, Nat, Thor and Clint. The photo is snapped just as the New Year is welcomed in with fireworks in the dark sky, and everyone groans as the vomits stench circles around everyone.

Tony starts laughing (basically wheezing) and holds his stomach watching the four of them gasp while trying wipe off the vomit reeking of Vodka. "What the fuck!" Clint cries out in agony.

"Happy New Year!" Stark shouts and shoves Clint off the wooden walkway, watching him fall into the ocean. Everyone else starts laughing together and shove Nat off next, then Thor, then lastly, Bruce. One by one the rest dive in as they cheer watching more and more fireworks explode just in front of the cabins.

"Don't- Don't!" Sam shakes his head watching Wanda surround him with her arms out. She giggles then goes charging into him by the waist, tackling him off the side and down into the water. Sam screams and once everyone is in the water, their constant cheering is drowned out by the explosions near. Stomping approaches from above on the walkway and everyone looks up, seeing Klaudia looking over and eyes widened in shock.

"A-Are you all alright? Why is there a table in the water?!" She panics and the team glance over at floating on the surface of the ocean, smiling. Tony looks back up and waves at her.

"Happy New Year!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! It was actually New Years for me 18 hours ago but I couldn't post the chapter at midnight- way too tired for that lol. But I wish you guys a great new year, a healthy and happy start and an awesome time from now on. Thank you for reading this.
> 
> Note: 'Jandals' is just slang for flip-flops where I live.


	3. Too Much Experience

"Okay, Bucky, calm down." Tony chuckles through his headset.

"Christ Nat, even in a game you're serious." Clint mumbles.

Moments later Clint goes to run into the train, when suddenly he's shot to death. He scowls and throws the controller onto the desk as he watches killcam- an enemy with the name 'Agent Romanoff' creeping up towards him and shooting him. "Fuck this!" He shouts. Everyone laughs watching him rage quit.

"Oh! Steven Rogers back at it again with those knife kills!" Clint claps his hands as he turns his attention to Steve who's too absorbed into the game.

Game night. It's their first time as well. Tony suggested they play a board game but they've already done that before and lets just say Monopoly never ends well. So Tony decided to play a video game. Call of Duty 2. Because he thinks it's the best one out of all the COD's. So now everyone either has a pc with them that Tony rented out, or are doing split screens on the television. And what ever happened to a little bit of fun? Clint proposed they all put a team bet on. So everyone chipped in a bit of money, and the winning team splits it equally. Then Sam decided the teams since everyone started to actually take it seriously and try bring their real problems into the game. So now it's Clint, Steve, Bucky, Thor, Wanda and Vision against Peter, Natasha, Sam (because Tony got sick of the trio never separating), Tony and Bruce. Unusual teams, but ones that definitely work well when they have $243 up on the table.

"Stark! Stark! Get behind the wall! Steve's coming at you with Buck!" Sam panics watching the two enemies running straight towards them while him and Tony stay planted in the broken terminal station. Tony tries to shoot at Steve but he goes behind a small advertising board and lets Bucky run the rest of the way.

"Shit! They're onto us!" He almost rises from his seat as he squirms around, mashing the controller buttons and gritting his teeth together.

"Sam, chill out." Tony laughs as he leans even closer into his computer.

"Thor, go up the stairs. Romanoff is coming your way." Steve orders Thor who's too busy spinninh around on the spot.

"Thor, what are you doing?" Wanda asks him.

"I'm...not familiar with this device. I don't understand it. How do I use it?" He turns to her and she shakes her head. "Steve I thought you taught him how to play."

"He has to learn somehow. Without our help. Also, Buck, behind you. Romanoff's coming up on you like she just did with Thor." Bucky is too slow to turn around and Natasha runs up to him, slicing him down. He groans watching his character die then the killcam appear on his screen and throws his controller to slide on the ground just like Clint had done.

"How long?" Nat asks.

"Two minutes." Tony replies through his headset.

"Can I ask why Stark has a headset on even though he's right beside us?" Clint laughs with his arms crossed, watching his character die everytime after he just left it alone to no longer play with.

"Makes things more realistic. Whoop, Barton, got you again." Tony smirks, making a headshot.

"I'm not even playing."

"What, you upset your shooting skills aren't that good?" Tony remarks.

Steve quickly cuts them off. "Clint at least don't let them kill you. That's another point to them." He sighs continuing to fight with all his might as he barges into Natasha and they start trying to knife each other.

"Frag out." Natasha repeats after her character and throws a tactical into the train, making Vision and Thor's eyesight blurry then shooting them both.

"Mr Stark! I have the second highest kill points!" Peter excitedly jumps in his seat checking the scoreboard, and he has a score of 37 kills.

"And who has the highest?" Tony scoffs. Peter looks up to the top, seeing Tony has a score of 54 kills and only 9 deaths. Sounds impossible but hey, it's Tony Stark- THE Iron Man, he wouldn't know impossible even if it hit him in the head.

"R-Right..." Peter mumbles and continues playing, while Banner wallows in frustration just trying to move his character to the side so he's hiding behind an advertisment board.

"Can't hide forever Banner. Ain't how the game works." Steve grins running up behind Bruce and shooting him in the leg with a tri-bolt, watching the explosion unfold before him. Bruce sighs and drops the controller as well then leans back into the sofa.

"Look guys this is fun and all but I'm not that skilled at shooting games. I'm a scientist, not a gamer." Bruce explains and everyone chuckles while Sam squeezes his shoulder.

"Stand down doc. We've got this." That's when Sam pulls out his centry gun and plants it into a corner so no one can destroy it and whenever someone tries sneaking up or down the staircase, they're shot to death in less than a second.

"Fourty-five seconds." Natasha's voice rises and everyone (those who are still playing) leans closer to their seat. Steve looks over to Wanda and gives her a small nod. "Wanda." He murmurs. She nods back and with the flick of her fingers she sends a wave through Tony's head, and his eyes shut, then re-opens, and he starts running into her several times for her to shoot him. She ups the teams scores by another 12, leaving a gap of only 4 kills between the opposition.

"Tony, the hell are you doing?! You're running into their traps!" Sam shouts.

"Wanda...if I wasn't mistaken..." Vision almost points out what she did to Tony but she silences him with a finger over her lips and a shake with her head.

They almost win when Sam notices the small red electronical waves linger around Tony's eyes and slams his controller onto the ground.

"Okay- Wanda's cheating! Game over! Game over!" He stands up and starts walking in front of everyone and the screens so none of them can see what they're doing.

"We win, the end!" Sam cuts Wanda off before she can speak and purses her lips together. Steve snickers and stands up so he's levelled with Sam.

"That was my order." He confesses. Everyone mockingly gasps like they're an audience watching a drama. The game ends with a score of 170-163 and Peter groans then slumps backwards.

"Wanda was cheating so that's not fair!" Sam whines pointing at the scoreboard.

She finally pulls Tony out of a daze and he's back to reality, shaking his head and blinking several times. "What just happened?" He mutters still shaking his head.

"Wanda cheated and hypnotised you to go to her so she can kill you and up the points."

"Actually, Wanda thought outside of the box and used her abilities to its full potential." Steve snaps back at the others.

"Steve, it's a game." Natasha rolls her eyes as she stays sitting on the sofa, controller still in her hand.

"Says the one who actually complained at one point saying 'the game glitched' when really you just got your movements wrong trying to assassinate me from above." Clint laughs at Natasha. She shrugs and turns back to the screen, out of the conversation.

"Losers can complain all they want. We won fair and square." Steve throws his hands up, grabbing the money everyone chipped in and already starting to split it.

"Yeah, no. Not on my watch Cap. Wanda used powers which we specifically said was not allowed. So- hand the green over." Tony puts a hand out, patiently waiting for Steve to hand him the money.

"You are all so petty and whiney. Like frustrated infants." Thor chuckles, on the sofa and caressing his hammer.

"Thor, stay out of this. Okay Cap since you aren't co-operating how about a small game of rock-paper-scissors. Simple right?" Tony proposes and Steve hums to himself, thinking. He shrugs his shoulders and shakes Tony's hands.

"Fine. First to three."

"Stark I swear to god if you lose." Sam rubs his hands together as everyone surrounds the two of them. First round, Steve wins. Second round, Steve wins again. Third round, Tony wins. Fourth round, Steve wins. Clint exclaims in victory with Wanda and Vision under his arms, swaying side to side. Steve claims the money once and for all and splits it between his team members.

"How could you lose that Mr Stark?" Peter whines out watching the money disappear into pockets. He rakes his hands through his hair and Tony, the angriest one of all, heaves out and massages his temples to keep calm.

"Did you wanna give it a try, huh kid?" He hisses at Peter and walks behind his team feeling ashamed. "Hey, Stark, I hope you're not feeling too down about yourself. How about another game?" Steve calls to him, a genuine smile on his face.

"Don't try and comfort me Arnold Schwarzenegger. I think our team won fair and square, you guys just had to cheat because you all were losing so now, Nat, Bruce, Sam, Peter and I are going to Nando's and we'll be enjoying our meals while you all have only $40 and 50 cents each. Suck it." He thrusts his hips and click his fingers, the rest of his team walking out to leave Steve sighing.

"Honestly, we can never do things and Tony won't be serious, huh?" He shakes his head then turns to Clint.

"Nando's? A table exactly beside Tony's?" Steve looks over everyone else and they all nod, evil grins awakening on their faces.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter, sorry! ^_^  
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Infant-y War

After Tony accidentally invented a machine that takes people back in age, he thought he ordered Friday to trash it, when really it got into the wrong hands. He was stressed trying to figure out where it had disappeared to. It wasn't in his lab and wasn't in his other study room. He spent hours searching around the Tower hoping no one mistook it for a random device and accidentally pressed the big blue button on the side if it.

While Tony rushes around, Bucky, on the other hand, is holding a device in his hand. Weirdly shaped, and he doesn't know how he even got this. He just wandered into a random room after getting lost being guided through the Tower for the _12th time_ and ended up here, holding this.

Feels like the top half of an ice cream cone with a copper plate over the top of it then a rod poking from the centre of it. Connected to the sides of the steel cone are small buttons are a screen to project its statistics.

 _What the hell is this?_ Bucky wonders. He ogles the device, turning it around in his hand. When the sudden loudness of Tony's voice from upstairs echoes through his ear he slips up and accidentally presses a button on it. The small bulb at the end of the centre rod lights up then the screen on the side scans Bucky's entire body. He drops it but the device stays locked on his figure and before he knows it the whole room flashes from the lightbulb and Bucky falls onto the ground covering his face with his metal arm.

Almost everyone in the Tower hears shouting from the second floor and go rushing to where it was last heard. Tony and Steve barge through as many doors as possible, afraid someone has been attacked or even worse- killed.

"Look everywhere!" Tony demands nearby employees and they nod then help search through rooms. Steve and Tony open the last door and there, sits a small infant crying and whimpering, sitting in enormous clothes. They both panic and look over at each other.

"You grab him." Tony immediately mutters.

"What? You grab him." For the first time Steve actually snaps back refusing to do something and take lead.

Tony rolls his eyes and throws his hands up. "I'm not good with kids! Hurry up, grab him!" He points back at the baby. Steve sighs and walks over to it, removing the oversized shirt the baby is poking its head through and oulling it into his arms.

"Holy-..."

"What? What is it? Does it have a tail?" Tony hides behind the door, peaking past it.

"Tony...the baby looks familiar.  _Too_ familiar it's scaring me." Steve sternly says, staring directly at the sniffling child. Tony scoffs and walks over to it laughing.

"Of course it doesn- what the fuck?" He finally gets a proper look of the baby. Holy shit. It does look familiar. Like they've always see this baby before. What the hell?

"Tony, it's Bucky. No doubt about it."

"Oh really? How? Cause the eyes, maybe. But anything else and you can't prove it's Buck-" Tony then turns his head side to side, eyes scanning the room, when he finds the small device he's been searching for the whole morning, bulging out underneath the shirt the baby was in. He picks it up and studies the device.

"Fuck...fuck...no..." He mumbles to himself as he starts pacing back and forth, thousands of thoughts running through his head. He looks at the baby, then back at the device.

"What's wrong?" Steve asks him as he cradles the baby in his thick, strong arms.

"Oh- I don't know, maybe the fact that Bucky just used the age changing machine I accidentally invented!" Tony turns to Steve throwing the device up in his hand.

"Wait...what?" He stops stressing at Stark and shakes his head.

"Bucky. He came across this... _thing_ that I may have accidentally invented. See, Bucky's body figure was recorded into the system then processed. The device took him back to his infant years, Steve." Tony explains opening up the recent transitions and it shows a full 3D holographic image of Bucky's body.

"Guys! Did you find-"

Steve and Tony turn around to the door behind them seeing the rest of the team all wearing concerned expressions on their face. Clint stares at the two of them. Ah, right. A baby. In Steve's arms. A baby. What the fuck?

"You guys..have a baby?" Natasha asks folding her arms.

"A baby? Sheesh, at least keep your private life to a minimum." Clint hisses once his shoulders sag from relief. Tony shakes his head.

"It's Bucky. He was...let's just say he used a device I accidentally invented that takes you back in age." He explains showing them all holograph of Bucky. Their eyebrows furrow until it all somehow kicks in and they let out a long 'Aaaah' bobbing their heads.

"So you're saying...that's Bucky? The baby that has a head the size of Steve's bicep? Shit..." Sam laughs pointing at the baby and shakes his head in disbelief.

Natasha swats at his shoulder. "Don't swear around the baby. Mind if I hold him?" She walks out from behind Clint and Sam and over to Steve, already wrapping her arms to cradle Bucky. She smiles at the constant tears and sobbing coming from him and gently swings side to side, quietly humming Russian lullabies.

"So since  _it is_ Bucky we have no choice but to keep him. First of all let's bring him up to the living room and we'll sort things out from there." Tony is already out the door and everyone starts making their way back up to the same spot they're always lazing around at. Wanda hapily carries Bucky the rest of the way, smiling and sending small waves of red over him to entertain him. They reach the living and all sit on the sofa's, sitting Bucky down onto the coffee table and staring at the baby try to crawl around.

"There isn't much here for him. I mean, this isn't a place for children. Should we like, take him somewhere else or-"

"No. Clint you're a father. What do babies normally need? I'll just get Happy to get them." Stark cuts off Steve and turns to the archer with his feet up and drinking his 5th can of lemonade today. He shrugs.

"Well first of all you can't decide what to get for the baby. You gotta let the baby decide. Take him shopping and whatever peaks his interest he'll grab. Decide between at least 3 sound toys like small bells or something, grab a walker, he's gonna be too small to have to sleep in a crib so he has to stay in a bed with someone else, get food like porridge and that powder milk whatever the hell it is." He fidgets with the small weapons still hidden in the pockets of his pants acting like he doesn't care, but in Clint's mind he's excited to take the baby out. It reminds him of home. Laura. The two little mischief ones.

"And he'll need clothes as well? So toys, food, a couple blankets, clothes and a few other items. Friday, note all of that and send me a list once I get to the store. Where's the nearest...baby store?" Tony stands up already giving Friday instructions.

"If you are in search for high-quality products, I recommend Dearest Child, a store for infants that provides you with the necessary equipment in order to care for a baby. I will send the address now." Friday replies.

"Alright. So all of us are going shopping. _No_ arguing. We'll split up and grab different things and I'll get Happy to babyproof the place while we're gone. Sound like a plan?" He turns to everyone. They nod vigorously before grabbing Bucky, then realising he's completely nude and has nothing on him. That's when a stream of yellow liquid comes down Steve's arm and shirt after picking the infant up.

"Right..." Steve awkwardly purses his lips together as Bucky starts laughing and clappng his hands. He sighs and hands Bucky over to an overly-nervous Peter to change into other clothes.

"So, do you guys have any baby clothes?" Tony asks.

Somehow, in the end they decide to just wrap Bucky in a blanket and hold his squirming body together. Everyone then climbs into the same with Tony driving, Bruce and Clint beside him on the two passenger seats, Bucky being held in Steve's arms who's sitting in the centre with Natasha and Wanda either side of him, eyeing the baby to reassure him and Sam, Vision, Peter and Thor all squished at the back, groaning every single time their shoulders are painfully pressed when the car turns.

Sam groans. "We couldn't go separate cars?"

"Sorry we are in a rush, and we aren't exactly up for an Uber right now." Stark remarks looking at Sam through the rear-view mirror.

 

They arrive to the store, people staring at the team all wearing stern and broad faces. Tony climbs out of the car smiling once he hears the familiar gasps and chattering of 'Look! It's Tony Stark!'. He waves to everyone before they all quickly disappear inside the air-conditioned building, stuck at the front as Cher plays in the background while the room is littered in light yellow, blue and pink with weirdly captivating thing hanging from the roof. Natasha sighs and Clint is the only one unashamed to be walking around in a full black outfit while mixing with middle-aged mums.

Women (and only a few men) gaze shocked at everyone. Steve continues holding Bucky and immediately turns to the group, arranging different teams to explore the area.

"Alright. Sam, Vision, Peter- you guys grab the diapers and hygiene products like bath equipment, soaps, towels and powders. Wanda, Bruce, Thor- food and other things like milk formula, bottles, bowls. Tony, Clint, Nat- toys, blankets, pillows. And I'm taking him to the clothes. So we all know what we're doing?" He asks and they all nod then spread out, taking carts with them.

-

Sam and Peter throw five enormous packs of different types of diapers, not knowing what the hell to grab. Vision comes back further down the aisle with his own basket of products like  _Johnson's Baby_ shampoo, powder and other small soaps.

"Alright so diapers and soaps. All we need are some towels and a bath thingy to put the kid in, right?" Peter and Vision nod though they're just as confused as him and they start walking.

-

"Well infants have stronger taste buds, that's why they're so picky with what they eat. As far as I know they choose a different variety of things from mashed potato to chocolate cookies every day." Bruce stands beside Wanda choosing between the carrot and pumpkin mix or the berry mix. She turns to Bruce, "Is Tony paying for all this?"

"I believe so." He replies and Wanda throws them both in, along with a whole bunch of other flavours and types of food. Thor reaches up to the highest shelf, grabbing large tins of milk formula. He observes it carefully until he accidentally pops the lid open and the powder flies everywhere on the ground. Wanda and Bruce panic.

"Shit!" She whispers and starts kicking at the powder, kicking it underneath the shelves. Once it's all disappeared she glares up at Thor and snatches the tin out of his grip, putting the lid back on then choosing whichever formula she thinks is best.

-

Nat rubs her hands over different varities of blankets folded neatly and wrapped in tight bundles with similar coloured ribbons. She finally chooses one, a baby blue one with small boat and car cartoons patterned over one side and completely empty the other. She smiles, kneading her fingers into the sofa material, then grabs more. When she looks up and to her side where Tony and Clint are arguing which walker to choose, she walks back to join them.

"Is there a problem?" She asks, putting the blankets into the cart.

"Yes, yes, there is. Clint thinks we should buy a walker rather than me just making one." Tony stares at Clint who's refusing to let go of the green-legged walker scattered with patterns on it out of his hand. He shakes his head and releases a sharp string of breath, closing his eyes.

"No! You're probably gonna make some shit ass walker with robot legs and a holographic screen for the kid. He needs  _proper_ baby stuff." He breathes out. Tony scoffs throwing his head up.

"My inventions aren't proper? Oh please, what you think this type of stuff is?" He grabs a small rattle toy holding several mini bells and starts shaking between the two of them in front of their faces. Clint still has his eyes shut, trying to talk over the toy and Tony.

"Stop. Stop." The noise becomes even louder as Tony shakes it harder. "What isn't it proper though? What? Huh?" He mumbles over with the bell.

Soon enough mothers start staring at the two men awkwardly shaking a bell between their faces, and Natasha intervenes, pulling the toy away and throwing it into the cart. She grabs the box with a picture of the exact same walker Clint is holding and peers to Tony. "We are getting it."

-

"Sh...shh..." Steve whispers, rocking Bucky back and forth as he cries into his shoulder. Mothers smile at the bonding 'father and son', while others even approach him just to praise the man. He pushes the cart along aisles of different clothes, grabbing one-pieces, shirts, pants, shoes, socks, beanies and even baby shades. Sooner enough there's a whole bunch piled in the cart and Steve sighs, still rocking Bucky as he moves along to the other ailses until he finds Tony.

"We're finished." He informs and Tony nods looking over at his own cart filled with random toys and stuff. "Yeah we are...done as well, I guess." He purses his lips and so Steve, Nat, Tony and Clint all go to find the rest around the enormous two-story store. Slowly, they re-group, attaching the other members to the team as they wander until they're all finally at the checkout, patiently waiting behind a line of men and women.

The sound of the beeping from the counter awkwardly rings around everyone as they have their heads held at different angles, staring anywhere around the store.

"Next." The lady smiles at them, and Tony quickly topples the stuff onto the counter, letting them be scanned then neatly tucked into plastic bags. After all the products are scanned Tony gleefully swipes his card through the EFTPOS machine and makes Steve and Sam load all the bags back into  _two_ carts, and even more have to be carried by hand.

"Seriously, how do you get $500 worth of baby products?" Tony complains as they walk back to the car and the bags are loaded at the back with the help of Clint and Thor.

"I don't see why you're angry about that. Don't you spend millions everyday?" Clint rolls his eyes and shoves the last bag in then slams the trunk door closed. They all climb inside the car and when Tony glances at Bucky still in Steve's arm, he sighs then gets back out.

"What's wrong?" Wanda asks.

"Car seat. He needs a car seat." He walks back inside the store, disappearing behind the doors when everyone groans.

-

They finally arrive back at the Tower and everyone voluntarily carry the bags up to the living room and start unpacking the food in the kitchen, and open up the clothes, blankets, and toys.

Bucky is already crying after peeing all over the blanket he's wrapped in and Steve gently unfolds him out while he hums to comfort Bucky but nothing works.

"Clint, you know how to make the milk?" Sam asks seeing as nothing is going to quieten Bucky. Clint shrugs.

"Nah...Laura, she uh...breastfed." He gestures a hand over his chest, pretending there's actually a breast there. Everyone nods and gets back to learning from Friday how to bathe, put a diaper on, feed, make milk for, and entertain children. Friday guides them, and Tony decides to just follow the instructions on the tin of the milk powder. The entire living rom is scattered ith small bts and pieces from toys to box bits, and full of everyone talking to themselves or others in need of help.

"And then your fold the last two sticky thingies over the front, like that?" Sam smiles up to the roof after neatly putting a diaper on Bucky. "Exactly like that. Very well done, Mr Wilson." Friday replies. Bucky chirps as if celebrating Sam's achievement and brings his hands together, clapping them with a big toothles-smile on his face. Sam smiles back and hands Bucky a toy, a bell one of all things, to go to the kitchen and grab himself a drink.

"Who gave Bucky the bells?!" Tony groans as the familiar noise of bells betwen him and Clint ring through his ears. He walks over to Bucky and slowly puls the toy out of the babies grip, then replaces it with a smallplush toy of Iron-Man.

"See, that's your favourite superhero, isn't it?" He grins, glancing up at Steve every now and then who's just glaring at Tony.

Tony walks off to where Clint is kneeling on the ground to set up the walker, and rolls his eyes at it. "That's so not how a walker goes." He remarks and Clint drops the toys he's puting on top of it, looking up at the man towering over him.

"Then how about you do it wise ass?"

"No thanks. I'm good with actually inventing things than buying then building things that don't even guarantee the childs safety." He smirks and walks off, hearing Clint mumble 'asshole' under his breath.

Everyone else is stressed to the max, trying to neatly fold clothes and blnkets or put the toys together for Bucky to play with. And what the hell did Happy even babyproof? Shit looks the same as before.

"He needs a bath. Lord knows the last time he's had one. So I'll run the water for the weird blue thing for him." Natasha stands up holding the small plastic light blue bathtub and rushes to the bathroom, getting temperatures from Friday and which ones are appropriate for the infant. She lifts the sleeves of her suit up, ties her hair back, and kneels down putting the bathtub into the sink, turning on the taps and letting water wash all around it.

"Perfect temperature, Ms Romanoff." Once filling it to where the marked line is inside the tub, Nat walks back into the living room, putting several towels down onto the ground then brings the filled bathtub to rest on top of them.

She pours some soap in the water, just enough to make small bubbles, then unwraps Sam's perfectly-folded diaper on Bucky and starts to lower the infant into the water, her hand on his head at all times.

Everyone watches in awe, her skills are impressive as always. Natasha dabs a wet towel over Bucky's bare skin, not daring to rub it, and cups small bits of water in her hands then spils it over his rising stomach.

"Gently over the crotch area, Ms Romanoff." Friday reminds and Natasha nods, and slowly washes over Bucky's legs and thighs. Once he's cleansed she slowly raises him up to get Clint to wrap a soft towel around the small body. He tightens it to an extent and pats Bucky's small strands of brown hair with the corner of a towel, then wipes his face.

"He's tired." Clint smiles at the baby. This infant isn't a killing machine. It's a baby. Not a brainwashed-Hydra soldier- an infant. That's probably what has Clint smiling from ear to ear as he continues cradling Bucky, humming and finally bringing out his childcare skills. Even Tony relaxes seeing Bucky start to calm down in Clint's arm and he holds the infant until it finally starts to scream again, waking everyone out of their exhaustion once more. They sigh and dress Bucky into a small star-spangled one-piece patterned exactly like Steve's suit.

"The lil guy must be hungry. Tony you finish that milk yet?" Clint calls. Stark comes from the kitchen shaking the bottle and handing it over. "Correct temperatures and made to perfection. You're welcome." He grins watching Clint put the bottle to his cheek to check the temperature, then slowly lower himself onto one of the sofa's. Slowly, he lets Bucky consume the milk, the bottle slowly lifted to the right angle for a smal stream to come from the end if it's sucked hard enough. Bucky's hand come up over the side of the bottle, small smoth fingers opening and closing.

Wanda is in love with the infant as she makes small 'Aww' sounds every time the baby closes his adorably big eyes to the warm taste of milk. "He's beautiful." She comments and hesitantly but surely, everyone nods with her.

After drinking most of the milk, Clint lifts Bucky up then looks to everyone, offering the baby to them. "Anyone wanna switch?" He asks and Natasha comes over, wrapping her arms around the infant then walking elsewhere to a quiet place. She holds him over her shoulder, gently tapping at his back to get him to burp everything up.

His burps and hiccups make Wanda swoon and she stays cuddled into Vision's side, squeezing his arm lightly thinking about a baby. The infant yawns, smal mouth opening and eyes closing in sign of exhaustion. That's when everyone starts to pull out blankets and other small things. Bucky slowly starts to fall asleep, his head leaning onto Nat's shoulder as he breathes heavily with his small fingers still opening then closing.

"Job well done, Romanov. We appreciate it." Steve gently patted at hed shoulder, coming around to the front of her and taking the baby from her arms. "I'll sleep with Bucky." Steve volunteers.

Tony scoffs. "I think you already do. Anyways, I think Bucky should sleep with either Vision or Clint."

"I don't think a baby would be pleased to wake up next to Vision. The guy's face is red and blue and has scary eyes. No offense, man." Sam cuts in and apologetically frowns at Vision.

"None taken. I am aware my appearance isn't all that comforting. That's why I believe Natasha should be the one to care for the infant." Vision includes. Natasha tightens her lips and sighs.

"I'm just as insecure as Vision to be looking after a baby." She admits with her arms still folded.

"Well, I mean you are pretty ho-"

"I mean just as who I am. I wasn't raised as your average girl. So while my skills vary when it comes go caring for a baby, I only know so much." Everyone nods respectfully and even Clint decides to pull out. "Yeah, I know I have two kids but uh, that's it. Stark I think you should take Bucky for the night. Maybe it'll help you and Pep out a bit? For the future?"

"Yeah, no. With the way things have been between Pepper and I, there are no signs whatsoever of even thinking of a baby. How about Sam?" And things turn over to Sam snacking on a pop-tart. He shakes his head.

"Nah...not good with uh, babies. Cry too much and want so much attention that I just can't give." He sighs. "That's okay, Sam. Then...no, we're not giving him to Thor. Judging on the stories Thor tell us, Bucky will probably start drinking Asgardian liquor by tomorrow. So no, he's not even going there." Tony explores the room at every possible candidate to care dor Bucky while he's asleep, a finger stroking his beard.

"Bruce?"

"I'm out of the question." He shakes his head.

"Peter's too young..." Tony hums still stroking his beard.

Steve raises his hand again. "I don't mind taking him i-"

"Yeah, there's no one that can look after him. Maybe just let him sleep on the couch?" Tony completely ignores Steve, turning to Clint. Everyone else snickers seeing Steve pout after getting the cold shoulder and leans back into the sofa, arms folded and expression sour.

"I think that's the best option. Friday, can you open up the couch full length?" Tony asks the AI and in seconds the sofa starts to move, cushions disappearing then lengthening the seated space into an enormous soft, white bed.

"There." He throws his arms up presenting it with a smile and Bucky is lowered down onto it after Natasha lays a blanket over the bed. His small body is frozen in position but relaxes when given enough space, and his truck blanket is rested over him. Seeing the infant finally asleep, everyone sighs an air of relief, stretching and starting to fall asleep themselves. "I call dibs on the bed!" Sam whispers but rushes over to the bed, climbing onto it and coming beside Bucky.

"No, get off!" Tony snaps, but quietly as he pulls at Sam's legs.

"Yeah, Sam. No one should be on the bed but Bucky." Natasha butts in. "No, I wanna get on the bed!" Tony bashfulky answers back still tugging at Sam's legs.

"Get off me! You're 40-something so quit acting like a kid!"

"Guys, guys..." Steve walks over to them trying to quieten them down but al he gets are glares. "Shut up Steve!"

"I mean, I'm prety tired as well." Peter shrugs, sitting on the sofa beside the bed,mhis head tilted back. Wanda and Vision stay on their own corner, already asleep and as silent as night. Clint slumps down beside Peter, yawning and putting his feet up then spreading his arms for Peter to rest his head on. Thor sits down at one of the recliners, opening the whole seat up so his legs can rest up.

"Get off the bed Sam!" Tony warns, voice lower this time still pulling at his leg.

"Never!"

-

An hour later Happy decides to go up to the Tower and check in on everyone. He goes into the elevator and presses the private living room number, patient as he's taken above. The doors open and suspiciously, it's completely silent. He slowly walks out, hand over the back pocket of his pants and fingers gently grazed over his hidden pistol.

"Stark?" His voice echoes. Suddenly, he's startled by the loud sound of snoring and approachss the space of sofa's and recliners. There everyone sits, asleep.

He keeps his mouth shut trying not to laugh at the view before him. Bucky, back to his normal state as an adult with only a small blanket covering his naked body spread out on the centre of the bed with Sam sleeping silently beside him, being spooned by Tony, then Tony being spooned by Natasha. Steve on the other side of Bucky, fingers entwined. Peter dead asleep on the sofa beside the bed, his head on Clint's arm who's looking like he just passed out. Thor, the loudest thing Happy has ever heard, body relaxed on the recliner with head tilted back and his mouth wide open releasing loud snores that sound more like screams from the depths of hell. Bruce on the other recliner, silent amd eyes closed with his hands tucked in front of his chest. Wanda and Vision quietly and beautifully cuddling together, small smiles on both of their face.

Happy lets out a small laugh and shakes his head. "Can't believe these are the world's mightiest hero's."

 


	5. We Drank Asgardian Liquor!

"So, everyone. I think we should all go out for dinner. What do you say?" Tony comes into the Avenger's living room lively as always. They all avert their lazy gazes on the television to him as he stands right outside the elevator.

Clint chuckles. "I don't think any of us are in the mood. Besides, can't we just order pizza for tonight or something?"

"Sounds great and all Katniss, but I'm interested in actually spending the night with all of us as a crew. You know- together." Tony smiles. Steve stands up from the sofa and enthusiastically slaps his hands together.

"Tony's right. We need to improve our communication if we're going to be the team that saves the world. And going to dinner will be just the thing to help us." He walks over beside Tony. After half an hour of trying to convince the team they finally bend and stand up, getting dressed into more slick and classy clothes. Tony is probably going to take them to some fancy 5-star restaurant with dishes like a slice of fish that costs hundreds, but if he's paying for most of it then they won't complain.

They all climb into three separate cars. Sam, Bucky, Steve and unfortunately Peter is forced with them in one. Clint, Bruce, Rhodey and Natasha in another. Tony, Thor, Wanda and Vision in the last one. Tony leads the way, to a restaurant with a view of the shimmering ocean reflecting the colourful sunset. They're all escorted to an enormous and long private table five floors high- the highest floor. The can see almost along the entire ocean.

"Once again, you've outdone yourself Tony." Steve smiles, impressed by the mesmerising view. They sit down together and of course are already figuring out what to order. A waitress comes around introducing herself and starts taking orders.

Sam puts his hands up first, "I'll just have the uh...wait you've got pizza? What type?"

"It's a simple ricotta cheese with spinach, diced cherry tomatoes and other small freshly grilled vegetables."

"So vegetarian. Yeah, nevermind. I'll just go with the marinated chicken and roast vegetables. Sounds good." He rests his menu down finishing his order and next comes Nat. She smiles at the waitress then runs her eyes through the list of food.

"The...tuna bake." Then hands the menu to Tony.

"Hi darl, scratch their orders and just bring everything to the table. They can choose what to eat when it's all here." He hands the menu to the waitress with a smile on his face and she nods then walks off into the kitchen. Steve sighs as he puts a finger to the temple of his forehead. "Yep, outdone yourself." He repeats.

While they wait Tony orders a bottle of wine and it's shared around the table, everyone quietly sipping on it as they chat between each other about upcoming missions and highlights of their week. When all the food finally arrives which stacks up the entire table they dig in within a second, eating to their heart's content. Meatballs, tuna bake, pizza, meat roasts, vegetables and so much more is spread out and Thor loses his mind over it all.

"Now, I just want to say- as a team we have had our little fights but those are all just 'shit happens' type of arguments. Otherwise, I am proud to be an Avenger..." Everyone gently smiles at Tony after standing up to grab everyones attention. "Maybe even a bit prouder to call you my children." With that everyone jokingly groans and throws small bits of food at him, booing him as he sits back down laughing with Rhodey. They all start eating and throughout the entire night, they take down more and more glasses of wine, not holding back at all.

"What's that ya got on you?" Clint asks Thor, who's pouring a small red liquid into his drinks from a chiselled metal flask. Thor confidently chuckles and takes a sip of his drink.

"Asgardian liquor. Enhances the flavour, and the alcohol percentage." He answers and Clint hands his glass over towards Thor arching an eyebrow. Steve, Sam and Bucky shake their heads and coo lowly at him.

"With the way my week has been going I might as well take a bit of it." Clint murmurs. Thor doesn't hesitate but shakes his head and he releases a few drops of the liquor into Clint's white wine, turning it into a heavy red.

"Think about this, Clint. I know you're a lightweight and you have a wife and two children." Everyone laughs with Tony and Clint mockingly laughs back then chugs down his wine. Once pulling the glass from his lips he coughs and rubs his eyes, sniffling as he holds back a thick wave of vomit to come out any second.

Natasha pats his back and holds his shoulder. "The hell is that shit?" He coughs at Thor. He laughs as he drinks his wine like it's water. "As I told you friend. It's Asgardian liquor. Very strong, very powerful."

"Seeing Clint like that makes me feel like I'm being personaly challenged. Hit me." Tony bends over the table holding his glass to Thor. Soon enough, everyone else gets a few drops of the liquor put into their drinks and are all throwing money onto the table on who can hold it the best.

"Alright. Best holder gets $100 off me." Tony throws in and with that everyone holds their glasses up, clinks together then takes it down their throats. They all separate their mouths from their glass and start coughing, holding their chests. Thor laughs again seeing them struggle with just a few drops while he takes at least a quarter of a cup.

"Shit...that's something else..." Bucky shakes holding his head. Steve slaps his shoulder holding in his vomit as well after drinking. "Thor...you actually drink that?" Steve asks.

Thor nods putting more into his next glass. Nat starts to hiccup and lean over onto Bruce, slightly lightheaded and in the clouds. Bruce instantly regrets even putting his glass with theirs and taking a drop, so consuming a liquid he knew was dangerous, he's already starting to fall asleep leaning backwards. Tony and Rhodey groan holding their stomachs, eyes squeezed shut and shifting their glasses away from them. Vision is completely sober. He consumed the liquor like it was water and keeps his head high. No surprises. But what does surprise everyone is Wanda. She's enhanced, but not inhumane. She has liver like everyone else. Yet she's completely sober and is eating off her plate like nothing happened at all.

Once she realises that everyone is staring at her in awe she scoffs and laughs. "I have had worse. Very pleasing liquor, but not strong enough. Not even close." Peter on the other hand quietly sits among them holding his glass of lemonade and head dropped down, devastated he couldn't try any. Tony pats his back after _slightly_ recovering.

"Don't worry kid. You should be glad you didn't taste that stuff." He grunts.

"My wife and kids...they're gonna hate me..." Clint moans slumped over the table.

"So Clint is a truth-drunkey." Tony lets out a small laugh watching the once stern and collected archer, now drunk and droolinh on the table.

"Hey guys! Waitress! D'ya guys have karaoke? I love karaoke." Clint calls out. The same waitress comes out from the kitchen and shakes her head politely.

Clint turns back to everyone sighing with his head bobbing side to side. "Shit. Hey guys wanna go to karaoke? Needa let loose."

Everyone nods and quickly packs up even though their legs are weak and they're heads feel light. Tony orders for the leftover food (which is hardly any) to be wrapped up and taken to the Tower then calls Happy to bring an entire limousine around to pick everyone up.

"Hey, bring a lim. Big one. Gotta...bring everyone...around." Tony breathes out after losing his breath trying to walk to the elevator and go downstairs to the lowest level of the restaurant and wait outside.

Happy hangs up and immediately brings a limo around grabbing the attention of passerby's and people inside the restaurant. Everyone except Thor, Peter, Vision and Wanda crazily cheer like drunkards as they climb inside the vehicle, spread out. Nat is an entirely different person after having that liquor and is cuddling up into Bruce's arm, humming and laughing at anything.

"Where to?' Happy asks them.

"To kara-oke my man!" Clint cheers as the car moves and everyone raises their arms up to cheer with him. "Hey man, open up the roof window." Happy presses a button and the long dark-tinted window slides open. Clint is the first to lift himself up out of the window holding a bottle and glass of wine. The cool night wind brushes his face and cars behind him honk their horns, some drivers laughing while some unnecessarily aggravated. But at this point Clint doesn't give a single shit and continues cheering while they make their way to karaoke. Natasha comes up next, arms waving high and her cleavage even more bold than before. She dances around, shouting more than singing along with the song playing on the radio.

" _All my friends are wasted! And I hate this club, man I drink too much!_ " She wails out taking the wine bottle from Clint's hand and putting it in her own to raise it up into the air.

"Hey! Hey! Someone call cat guy to join us!" Sam chuckles, head dropping every few seconds then coming back up. He tries to get up to come beside Nat and Clint but falls onto the ground just lifting his arm up. Wanda grabs him but as heavy as he is she accidentally drops him again, so everyone decides to leave him alone passed out on the floor.

Peter is still quiet and bored, sitting beside Happy at the passenger seat. Happy laughs seeing him pouting while playing with his tie. "Kid, you don't have to be upset. You should be glad you haven't had anything to drink like they have. You'd probably be out like a broken light and you'll wake up the next morning feeling like utter shit. Dry throat, banging headache, weak limbs and probably even a couple of random bruises you don't even know how you got them. Just live life sober." Happy comforts Peter with a smile as he parks at the nearest but at least a small classy karaoke bar.

Everyone climbs out loud and rowdy and Wanda chooses to get a large private party room for the entire team. She stops at the counter after quickly sneaking Tony's wallet out of the pocket of his pants and hands them more than what is asked for, asking for food and drinks to come around at least everyone 15 minutes. The servers nod and the team's guided into the largest private room, arms around each other's shoulders as Clint is the first to grab hold of the microphone sitting on the table. He turns on the tv and music, going through the Queen playlist.

"Killer Queen!" Natasha shouts, spread out on an entire sofa taking up so much space Thor and Peter have to sit on the ground.

The colourful disco lights turn on, illuminating the dark room. Tony is almost asleep on Steve while Bucky stays sitting on the ground with a rubbish bin in his lap, spitting out waves of vomit that suddenly rise up in his mouth. Vision helps pick up anyone that falls off the retro green and orange sofa's, then sits them back up and hands them a bottle of water.

"Is this seriously how you people act?" Wanda sighs. Clint finally picks a song and the instrumental starts playing.

" _She keeps her Moët et Chandon in her pretty cabinet. 'Let them eat cake,' she says; just like Marie Antoinette_!" Clint's voice is suddely different, high and gentle sounding almost exactly like Fredde Mercury's. He dances vigorously, one hand holding the mic to his mouth while the other clicks his fingers as his legs kick up and moves his body around.

Tony stands up and points over at Clint from the sofa he's at. "A built in remedy, for Kruschev and Kennedy - at any time an invitation you can't decliiiine..." He lifts his shoulders a bit singing higher by the end of his verse and points over at Rhodey.

"Take it away Rhodes!" He laughs.

Rhodey jumps to his feet taking over, a dopey smile on his face, " _Caviar and cigarettes! Well versed in etiquette! Extraordinarily nice-_ "

That's when everyone. Literaly everyone, joins in. Arms over each others shoulders and swaying side to side. "She's a Killer- Queeen! Gunpowder, gelatine! Dynamites with a lazer beam!" They harmonise and Tony shimmies on the spot then sings the next verse.

"Guaranteed to blow ya mind!"

"Anytiiiiime!" Sam sings and starts dancing once bringing back his senses. He steps over Natasha who's now on the ground holding her stomach from laughing too hard at nothing and snatches the mic from Clint.

"Recommended at the price, insatiable an appetite, wanna tryyy!" He coos then falls onto the ground, his head hitting the table and falling unconscious. Nobody properly notices and just laugh then continue singing like mad sailors.

The song finishes and then comes the next with Bucky singing Christina Aguilera's 'I Am A Good Girl'. That's when the party hypes up even more. He starts the song and sits at the edge of a table, back arched up as he sexily poses for the small the crowd in front of him.

" _The dress is Chanel. The shoes Y.S.L. The bag is Dior; Agent Provocateur._ " Steve's eyes are plastered on Bucky as he flips his hair back, attempting to smoothen his voice out but just keeps it the same rough type. But everyone else is laughing at how feminie Bucky is acting, poking a leg out then rolls to his stomach still on the edge of the table, ass poked out.

" _Mr address today-_ " He throws his head back to the drum in the song. " _LA by the way._ " He quickly flips again this time back against the wall and arms spread out like he's actualy in a music video.

" _Above sunset strip; the hils all the way!_ " He whips his hair in a circle like a model and everyone wails in laughter, leaning back and holding their stomachs as a grin comes onto Bucky's face.

The song goes on until the end when Bucky jumps on top of the table, shimmying his chest forward. " _I am a good giiiiirl..._ " He gleefully sings, then dances around to the ending instrumental. With the last beat of the drum he drops to the ground with everyone chering and goes over to Clint, laughing.

After that comes Rhodey again, the next with Nat, then the next with Steve, and much more. Everyone has a turn, even Wanda and Vision singing a love song. Peter just sighs watching everyone have fun even if they don't know where the hell they are and stays seated beside Thor.

"So like...how old are you?" Peter asks, hesitant from the very beginning to even talk to the God of Thunder, Son of Odin.

Thor cracks a smile and lats his shoulder. "Son of Man of Iron, tis not my age should be of any concern, but my will to serve Asgard." Peter wasn't expecting an actual answer, but this one was a lot better at least. Well, somehow. Thor Odinson speaking so...(profoundly?) to Peter. He was at lost for words seeing such an inspiration smiling down at him like he's his own child.

"O-Okay." Peter murmurs and looks away.

An hour later no one is singing and they're all lazily leaning over the long orange table, groaning and holding their stomachs. Natasha hiccups chugging down an entire cup of booze given to her. She glares at the table, elbows leaning on her her knee's while sitting beside Sam (who was caried back to the seats) and Rhodey, their heads thrown back in exhaustion. Quietly, Lana Del Ray plays in the back and Tony gently hums to her music, bobbing his head side to side with his dress jacket halfway down his arms and his aviators tilted on his face.

"Guys..." Nat slams her cup down after chugging another cup down her parched throat. Slowly everyone turns to her groaning.

"...I'm...pregnant..." She announces in the worst way possible and Wanda, Vision, Peter and Thor jolts in their seats. No one else properly notices but they still smile and cheer with their arms up. Wanda sits up and grabs Nat by the arm urging her to speak.

"What? You are? With who?" She floods her with questions. Nat slowly brings her gaze up to Bruce who's passed out on the floor cuddling a bottle of Pineapple and Coconut Malibu. Wanda sighs then smiles.

"Congratulations. But I think you should stop the drinking here." Wanda pulls Nat away out of the room leaving Vision, Peter and Thor to supervise the drunk adults trying not to fall unconscious.

"I think we should put an end to the night here." Vision stands up and starts cleaning around the table, wiping the confetti off into his hand to drop in the bin. Peter joins and grabs whatever leftover alcohol and food there is to pack away. Thor stays seated, arms spread as he watches the two men clean before him. And Wanda comes back in holding Nat in her arms and letting her lay down along the sofa, then putting a jacket over her.

"Should we get them home or-"

"No. We can go home, not them. Let them face the consequences for being irresponsible adults." Wanda cuts off Peter looking at them all asleep around the room. Sam against the TV, Clint and Bucky leaning against each in the corner of the rom, Bruce snoring loudly on the floor along with Steve holding himself up as best as possible on the table, Tony with a random chip bowl on his head, Rhodey with his dress shirt unbuttoned halfway and an orange balloon with a weird face drawn on it held at his crotch. Then Natasha sleeping soundly on her side.

 

\---

 

They all slowly wake up, eyelids heavy and face feeling numb. In sync everyone rises at the same time groaning in agony. Tony goes to talk but his parched throats tugs back his words and he puts a hand over his face blocking the sunlight coming in through the window on the roof. Clint gets up, back in serious pain as he  pushes himself off Bucky and is just able to stand up. He brushes off smal crumbs on his pants and grabs a glass of water sitting on the table. He takes is down in one mouthful and gasps, feeling his throat moisten allowing him to at least spit out a few words.

"Fuck...the hell happened?" He grunts out wiping his eyes.

"Asgardian liquor. That's what happened." Clint looks up to the door and see's Wanda, hands on her hips as she angrily looks over at them all. "What?"

She walks over to the karaoke set, turns kn the mic full volume and starts to shout until everybody is awake. "Get up! Rise and shine! End of your beauty sleep!" She demands.

"Ugh..." Bucky moans and lifts himself up, metal arm the only proper functioning limb in him. "Rhodey! Tony! Steve! Sam! Up now!" Wanda shouts clapping her hands together and walking around the room, going straight to their ears and calling them. Tony panics at first and shoots up from leaning on his side over Rhodey and wipes his face, taking down the glass of water in front of him.

"Romanoff...come on, get up slowly. You too Dr Banner." Wanda suddenly shows her soft spot towards Bruce and Nat, crouching down and helping Nat up from the sofa.

"Peter, help Dr Banner up." Peter comes through the door with a new tray holding cups of water and after setting it onto the table he rushes to Bruce, pulling the drunkard by the arm.

"Um...Mr Banner? Yeah- hi, it's me, Peter?" He assures and Bruce rises up still holding the bottle of Malibu close to his chest. "Oh...hi, kid." He tries to smail but miserably fails when the headache finally comes rolling in, making him grab his head. He's slowly helped up and taken outside to freshen himself up with a bottle of water and cold towel.

Everyone rises up from their not-so-great slumber and brush the hundreds of crumbs everywhere on their clothes from packets of Dorito's. Tony stretches, tapping at his glasses and contacting Friday through them.

"Friday...how much alcohol did I consume last night?"

Friday takes a moment processing the footage it got last night starting from dinner. "From 8:16pm yesterday evening to 1:39am this morning- you consumed 7 glasses of wine, 3 milligrams of Asgardian Liquor, 13 shots of Vodka, 5 glasses of Bailey's, 1 bottle of Steinlager, three cans of Jack Daniel's and one glass of Malibu. I will remind that I warned you multiple times to hold back on your consuming rate, sir." Tony sighs. Holy shit. He drank that much in one night?

"And may I also comment, sir, that you did a spectacularly accurate impression of Madonna last night." Tony never knew he installed an AI to be that sassy. But honestly he couldn't care less, until of course, everyone around him snickered. "Bucky, you have no space to talk. I have footage of you dancing around singing 'I am a good girl' so from now on I have the good stuff to blackmail you with. Watch your back."

Bucky's smile drops at that and he glares as he watches Stark storm out of the room to get some fresh air.

"I suggest we never do this again." Sam snaps walking over the empty bottles littered on the ground to get outside. Everyone nods after finally waking up and exit the room as well.


	6. One For All

They all stand surrounding _it_. Faces twisted in grimace and expressions sour. "This is it." Tony thinks to himself watching Clint move closer to the centre.

"Barton, don't you fucking dare." Bucky growls, both arms tensing and his fists balling with his eyes now plastered onto Clint. They glare at each other before the archer finally decides to take his step back.

"So this is how it's going to end, huh Tony?" Steve sighs with his body and face still stern.

"I'm afraid so, Cap. If it means having it, then I **will fight for it**." He makes sure his voice lowers by the end of his sentence. Since this morning everyone's been on edge, surrounding the last remains of what comes from their supplies. But no one dares touch it, a deep burning fear that a war will break out. One wrong move, and hell breaks loose.

"You are all fools to believe you are worthy of what remains before us. I will claim it." Thor snarls as he takes a step forward when his eyes are locked onto Natasha's. Shit. Natasha. The Black Widow. One of the greatest spies and assassins known- even the God of Thunder decides to step away from the battlefield with his head down.

"I will have it." Tony declares, his eyes wide on his desires in front of him.

"Not while I'm here." Wanda looks around at everyone, chin high as she frowns at anyone who dares define the Witch. "Though I am not entirely capable of protecting these remains, I am willing to still fight for them. But Wanda..." Vision's hand sags out of Wanda's grip as he turns to her, expression tightened in frustration.

"Vision..." She realises what he's doing and shakes her head trying to deny the truth.

"I want it as much as you do. And knowing how much there is, it isn't enough for two. What rests there can only satisfy an individual. So as deeply saddening as it may be, I believe we must part our ways for this battle." He heaves out and see's the tears starting to well up in Wanda's eyes. But she stays composed, sniffling away the emotions before taking a step away from him feeling completely betrayed.

"Fine. You will realise what a mistake you've made when I've claimed it with my bare hands." She remarks.

"There really is not enough to be shared out?" Sam murmurs. Steve nods sighing. "Unfortunately. Only one can claim what remains here in front of us."

"Yeah, and that's going to be mine." Tony declares again and this time goes running straight towards it. Everyone quickly goes to block him but he lifts his armoured hand up and shoots at the ground, stopping them from getting any closer. But Bucky growls and his hand quickly slaps onto the pistol hidden in his pants, and he pulls it out firing it at Tony's pathway.

Everyone else is now running and Steve flings his shield directly at the ground in front of Natasha and Wanda. Nat jumps over it then with a twirl in mid-air sends the shield back at Steve, hitting him in the stomach. Vision silently but in only a matter of seconds shifts to the front of the remains, hands slowly rising to finally grasp onto it. But he's tackled down by Thor and is sent into the hard marble ground.

"You will not claim it while I stand here!" Thor shouts with his hands tight over Vision's neck until he's suddenly flung to the back of the room, body slamming into the white walls. Wanda steps in the crater Vision was embedded in and smirks at his limp body.

"I told you.  _A mistake._ " She leaves him in his crater and continues running to the centre with Natasha right beside her.

"You're not actually going to claim it, are you?" Wanda asks and Natasha snorts then grins, turning towards her. "Of course I am."

"Heads up!" Clint shouts and both the women turn to see him launching an arrow straight towards them. They quickly crouch and it flies past them, piercing straight into the box holding the last supplies and flying straight into a wall further away from everyone. Now everyone is at full speed with Bucky at the front, Tony with Steve beside him, Sam, Clint then Natasha and Wanda.

Bucky is almost at the wall with his arms out when Tony behind him shoots at his feet again. He stumbles and tries to regain his balance but fails as he trips over his own wobbly feet and falls to the ground, his face hitting the marble.

Tony laughs rushing past him, "Dumbass!" he shouts. His hand grips onto the arrow and pulls it out of the box, then victoriously holds it up, claiming it with great power. He cheers and swings the box around, dancing on the spot and shaking his ass at everyone else who's still running towards him.

"I got it mother fuckers!" He gleefully shouts and he's tackled into the wall, then onto the ground by two super soldiers holding him at the waist. They wrestle childishly and Tony hooks a leg around Bucky's neck then swings him around until he's on top of the soldier, ass on face. He farts then laughs hearing Bucky squirm and cry out in agony with his legs kicking about. "Tony!" His head whirls to the right and again he's tackled from his side by Sam. Clint climbs over them and all the men are now wrestling each other, pulling their hair and biting whatever hand comes around to them.

"Get off me! You smell like grapes and Vodka!" Tony shouts at Clint now on top of him.

"At least I don't smell like an alcoholic grandpa! Who's ass is in my face?!"

Natasha and Wanda stop in front of them then glance over at the box resting beside the group and catch a glimpse of each other's frowns. They both run towards it but are soon wrestling like everyone else but with each other. The scratch and hiss, screaming playfully as they pull their hair then roll on the ground in locked positions with their legs.

Thor groans and walks over towards Vision still laying down in his crater and catching his breath. "Are you alright my friend?" He asks putting a hand out. Vision purses his lips tightly then takes Thor's hand, lifting himself up then dusting himself off.

"Quite." He answers and peacefully make their way over to where everyone is wrestling each other.

The elevator doors ding then open and Bruce comes walking out holding bags of groceries. When he finally spots the Avengers all grunting and groaning while throwing small punches and kicks at each other, he sighs then walks over to the countertops to set the bags down.

\------

"So does anyone mind telling me what happened?" Bruce asks putting yet  _another_ band-aid over Sam's nose. No one owns up and Tony sighs, his shoulders sagging.

"We were on the last of the Cinnamon Toast Crunch." He answers flatly but guiltily as he looks down swing his dangling feet while sitting on the bed beside Thor, Wanda, Sam and Clint. Steve, Bucky, Natasha and Vision are seated on the other bed across from them looking down silently.

Bruce breathes out sharply and starts to wrap Tony's wounded arm tight in white bandage.

"You are all really immature sometimes." No one can answer back at the moment and just nod. "And why were you guys so serious? You even called it 'the last remains of the supplies'! It's just cereal." He shakes his head dabbing a small cotton ball dipped in rubbing alcohol over the other wound on Stark's face.

"But you got more, right?" Clint asks.

"Yeah of course I did. I got three boxes this time which will probably disappear today so we might as well stock up on it." Bucky and Steve perk up to the sound of 'three boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch' and grin at each other.

"So please, no more fighting over the cereal?" Bruce asks finishing wrapping up Tony's wounds then gazes over all of them. They nod still having the guiltiness washing through them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!! :)


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